a twist of fate

well what do you know?
i'm back again...
and i really don't know why
but i guess i was reading Tuyen's blog (which is amazingly better than mine because i really do not like computers...i fail at them) and then started realising that...i haven't blogged in much too long

so here i am

(here i am, once again. I'm torn into pieces can't deny it, can't pretend. just thought you were the one...broke up deep inside. but you won't get to see the tears i cried)

well, i'm not sure what to say
i miss andy O_O
i know, how weird, right?
but i know for a fact
that jack and weetyr
and danielle
and tessa
and katrina
and matt
are all cutting themselves up inside like me
because we all miss andy so much
who knew he was so...missable?

(if someone said three years from now...)

so song lyrics
yeah don't ask
because i'm going to tell you anyway
song lyrics
because well
music is my life
yeah yeah we all say that
because none of us can part with our ipods and stuff
but NO
music IS my life
really and truly
and sometimes it is much much easier to put what you want to say across through song
because there will always be a song
with the lyrics you want to use to say what you mean

and through some crazy, retarded twist of fate
i find myself
amongst others who also love music
i mean...opposites attract...(pfft)
but wahtever

i have officially finished the first draft
of my first ever
to be published book!
which, by the way, will be on sale soon =)

(aha yeah i wish :D)

you know what i've realsied? i have realised that the entire purpose of a blog
is to rant and rave about whateve ryou wish
and know that people are going to read it
in short, it's a way of bitching
in the most bitchiest way
because you know that you coudln't say it to their face
and you know that they're ging to read it (or are most likely to find it)
and so you just waoit for them to to find it!

damn...why oh why..?
so yes
my thoughts for the day
that's all
i dunno
this seems so incredibly lame now that i've been without it for so long
although i ought to stop
RIGHT NOW
and go do work
and KEEP DOING WORK
until i finish it all
(not likely to be any time soon)
but keep my 'head in them books and out of the clouds!' (sister act 2)
'but mama, did you even know i can sing?'
'there are a lot of people who can sing and they're down there on the streets singing their shoulda coulda wouldas now do you want to end up like that?'
'no mama...'

ha yeah that's right
do you even know i can sing?
no you wouldn't, right?
because she's not the type of person who can sing
sure all we need her for is playing the piano
she's the one who creates the music FOR the singer
no no she's NEVER the one who SINGS it alL!
ha you people underestimate me
don't worry, don't feel guilty
my parents don't believe in me either! =)
oh and neither does peter (most of the time)
or...lots of people
but yeah

my ears are constnatly ringing with the sound of people saying,
"don't bother trying, it's a waste of time!"
"you'll never make it"
"don't expect to win, because you really don't have much of a chance"
"don't you think you're taking on a bit much?"
"just give up now befor eyou fail epically"
"you're not hot but i still talk to you"

YEAH WELL IN YOUR FAT FACES!
yeah that was directed to ALL of you
everyone who has ever underestimated me
anyone who has ever said any of the above to me
nt just my paretns
but you know, it'd be great
to hear, just for once,
"go for it. i know you can do it."

how corny
now eveyrone who comes up to me and says that will have read this
and i will konw and be like
YOU DON"T REALLY MEAN THAT!
but it's okay
i won't bite your heads off
although you wouldn't expect me to, woudl you?
because i'm "not the type of person to do that"

gosh. stereotyping much?
hate y'all

i am increedibly tired
and should go do homework

but don't you sometimes just get sick of it alL?
not just
certain people
or certain things
but
just
ALL OF IT?
sometimes i wish it would all just go away
and never come back
or come back whe i'm ready to deal with it
but iguess
noone really has any control over that
bvecause...
might as well face things head on
because
you can't please everyone
and should sometimes just stick to makin gyourself happy because otherwise you'll unintentionally leave yourself to last
yes that was directed to you, Tuyen

this is complete rubbish
and the lowest of the low
the bitchiest of it all
the worst way to make people feel bad
but it had to be said
and i'm sorry
although i shoudln't say sorry too often
uit's so..
after a while it loses its meaning

but w hatever
more later maybe