three's a crowd

okay guys. i get it. three's a crowd.
but it's just so stupid because some of the time
when i need to talk to you
you let me talk
and then you just leave me?
like
seriously
guys
that's not the meaning of friendship. sure yeah, ti's good that you let me talk when i need to, but you do what older siblings are meant to do. walk off when you've got each other, and leave the younger sister out. because she's too young. leave her with the drunk people, leave her with the need to talk to someone SOBER WHEN YOUR"E THE ONLY OTHER FUCKING SOBER PEOPLE IN THE PLACE.
oh and leave her
to get her heart stabbed over and over again
leave bleeding on the floor while you go for a drive
a drive. in someone else's fucking car.
so i get it
older siblings can be like this
and i know that it's just somehting you ahve to accept
and move on wiht life but really
i miss your company
but clearly
you'll only be my company when you feel like it
so...i guess i ought to stop trying
if you want to talk to me
you will
right?
because i'm not goign to waste my effort when i know that that effort will be completely wasted
i shoudl know
i've tried so many times and been hurt and left hanging too many times.
how ironic is it that
three's a fucking crowd when it comes to certain people,
yet with andyweetyrdaniellekatrinatessamattkelseygiayen, 9 is a crowd? our group has 8...but our "crowd" level is one more person. maybe it's because we're comfortable with 8 people. 8 is such a nice number. 3 guys. 5 girls. very good. but if i can feel comfortable with 8 people at school, but only about 4 at church, an dabout 2 the rest of the time...if i can adapt, how come noone else can? i mean, sometiems at church i'm only with tuyena nd thao. and it's really good. and other times i'm with tu and tram and ngann. and then there's times when i'm with about 20 people and we're just in a massively awesome group? like that time, with thien, andrew, vi, thy, van, julian, phong, phi and me and we had that argumenta bout conformity? yeah. that was awesome. so how come i'm able to to adapt. how come other people can with me. how come you can't? and i'm your "sister" for goodness sake. gosh.
ohw ell
ima stop trtying now
ima move on with it
because you'll talk to me when you want to talk to me. 'kay?