young and naive

ha. i wish. don't we all wish we were still young and naive? because if we were, we'd never have to worry about stupid things like whether or not this guy likes us, or whether or not we're making the right decision by doing this, or that, o r whether or not we should be failing school or trying harder. seriously, don't you sometimes wish that you could wind the clock back to a time when the most complex problem at school was having a guy chasing you around the school at lunch time? And when that complex problem could be easily resolved just by walking up to themw ith confidence and giving them cooties? Because once you've got cooties, honey you're dead...so they ran away and never bothered you again.
ah. those were the days. those were the days when you could get away with doing things like that, and running around during church and not being yelled at, and not being compared to your friends BY YOUR MOTHER. yeah that's happened to me before.."Why aren't you a good quiet girl like thao? i'd like it so much better if you were a lot quieter and more of a good girl. Like thao." Well, little did mother know...thao really is not that innocent. she's a bad girl. well, maybe not quite as bad as me, and not quite as loud. but still. she's not the most innocent person in the world. i mean. seriously!?
but that's not what i wanted to blog about today
so i went to a wedding last night. it was awesome. people getting wasted me and nhu pulling drinks out of peter's hands, people dancing, trung thu and amanda having an awesome time. wow it was juts really really awesome. but the difference between this wedding and the others that i've been to? well, this was the first time that i was not sitting with my parents or another family member. in other words, i was out there in the big big world with just my friends. sure, my cousin chi huong was sitting right nearby, and i was sitting at the same table with nhu and julian and peter and trung and oanh, but they're all so old...well so much olDER than me. no offence guys =). but yeah and so i was actually not with parents and was pretty much free. but then again, i was expected to be completely and utterly mature. ok, not completely serious but i wouldn''t have been able to just run across the dancefloor throwing confetti everywhere without people looking at me and going..what a weirdo.
that's what i really miss about being young. being able to do crazy fun things and everyone saying naaww she's so cuuute. no. now i walk around and they say wow that's girl's hot. and they expect me to behave like the young adult that i am. seriously. last night i was wearing a pretty dress, my hair looked hot and well. and i wasn't allowed to run around. no. 1 because although i was sitting with people who woudn't judge me no matter what i did, i was in a place with LOTS of other people who didn't nkow me and who would be expecting me to be very very mature and completely...not runnign around like a child. no. 2 because SOMEONE had to watch over my drinking friends. i mean, nhu and julian just left to go outside at one point, leaving me at a table of almost completley wasted people. and i was sitting next to peter, making sure he didnt' drink too much...sure it was fun bceause we talked and we ate, but like...it would have been nice to talk to someone compeltely sober yet still able to go insane with them. know what i mean?
so while we were eating i was looking over at the dance floor and saw little children runnign across it. these little children were mainly the flower girls in the bridal party but the thing that really got me was that they were getting away with it. so easily. i remember the last time i did that...no wait. i actually DON"T because it was so damn long ago. so yeah yesterday i was at a wedding. i looked good. people were looking at me. hence i was not able to run around like i would like to. sure people say i'm still a little bit naive. but hey, i lost that excess naivity a LONG time ago, about the same time i lost the opportunity and the excuse to run around and throw confetti at people wihtout being yelled at and being todl that i'm being an irresponsible young lady. well i WAS being very responsible last night. trust me. i wa s. hey, if it weren't for me peter may not have even made it home safely. so THERE.
well i think this whole blog lost its meaning. i think. my message to you guys it this: if you still can, be as spastic a person as you can. don't wait until it's way too late and be thinking back saying..how i wish i'd made use of my time as a young and naive child. i wish eveyrone were still naive. i wish all of my friends were still naive and i wish i was more naive. then we could all just run around and give each other cooties, rather than talking about parties where people are getting laid by randoms. seriously. how sad is that? and in the time space of a mere 5 years or so. trust me, 5 years ago i wasn't evne thinknig about things like that, yet now, it's pretty uch something that goes on eveyrwhere in my life. all around me.
but yeah
wedding=awesome
me=wishing we were still young and naive
well i think that's all i have to say now.
but yeah
,...
i say yeah a LOT don't i?
but it just sums everything up...well that's all for now
more when i'm done pondering...