dudes, i think too much

i do.
i think waaayy too much
but i was just thinking about something that i heard Vivian say today. She and Jacqui were talking to Benson, presumably about relationships because Vivian said that she thinks that the 3-month mark in relationships is the mark of trust. if that makes sense...what she meant was that once a couple has passed their 3-months, they're fully trusting each other and they're relationship is pretty good. and she also said how some couples at our age these days are lasting about 2 weeks.
ha. so true. sorry to be bringing any tears to anyone's eyes but it's true. right? it's quite a pity too. but i think the cause of this is because people don't think things through before doing them. like...well sometimes you think you're ready for something, but once you've had a taste of it, you realise that you're just not ready yet. well, tip from me? guys, don't rush into things unless you're one hundred percent sure that you want to do it because once you've rushed into it, and said yes, then backed out, you've not only broken someone's heart, but made a potentially bad name for yourself. not to mention ruining your own mental health. so yeah. dunno why i just said all of that, but it seemed right and that's what i was thinking. for a bit.
thoughts then drifted off to something else. but i don't quite know.
oh that rings a bell
this is what i was thinking:
"I don't quite know
How to say
How I feel
Those three words
Are said too much
They're not enough..
IF I LAY HERE
IF I JUST LAY HERE
WOULD YOU LIE WITH ME
AND JUST FORGET THE WORLD"
etc etc
well yeah that's what i was thinking. and this relates to me how?
well it relates to me because i can never find the right words to express what i want to say; what i really feel on the inside
like, words are just not enough to say what i want to say, and there's really nothing else that i do. for me, being ahuman, words are the easiest form of communication. i mean, yes actions do say more than words, and pictures do paint a thousand words, but it's hard to do what you really think, or draw for someone what you're htikning. because it's just so time-consuming! I mean, for someone who talks really fast (like me) it's a heck of a lot easier just to say it. and if you don't say what you need to in a few words, you can just say more. but i guess, when someone does something for you, you feel what they're trying to say, without needing them to say it. but sometimes the meaning just isn't conveyed very well. or sometimes i'm just mis-interpreting what someone's trying to say by what to do for me, or to me.
because soemtimes i just psycho-analyse things, and it seems to be so much worse than it really is. i think this is like a side effect of thinking way too much. i think way too much. seriously. if someone can find a way to stop those voices and all of those thoughts in my head, please do. it's driving me nuts. i mean, people around me can tell when i'm deep in thought, whether or not those thoughts are seemingly painful or distressing or not. like....whenever i'm spaced out and people are having conversations around me, most people would say something like...err hello?? and they'd wave in m yface or soemthing. guys this is NOT what you should do when someone is spaced out. NEVER do that. because they are in a moment of thought taht neeeds to be resolved before the brain puts that thuogth aside and it is brought up later and more htought is required. trust me. i woudl know from experience. so guys, if i ever space out in front of you again, try not to do anything rational to "get me back to earth". give me time. talk gently or say something that will catch my attention. then i'll willingly put that thought aside, and i will know to refer to it later on when i do have time. like, i save up happy and funny thoughts for when i'm completely bored out of my mind. these thoughts are there to cheer me up when i need to be happy or simply to entertain me to kill time. another thing is when i start thinking when talking on the phone. if i ever do that to you, do what certain people like peter and thien do: ask me what i'm thinking about. because if it's something i need to get out tehre, i'll start talking about it. it helps because it emtpies my brain of thought. so i don't have a gigantic headache becaus ei'm trying to expand my head to fit in more thoughts. and if i don't want to talk about it, well dont make me. trust me, if it's something i need to talk about but dont' want to at the time, i will eventually bring it up after a few minutes or after i've had some more time to mull over those thoughts and re-word a few things to make them easier to understand.
alright this is no longer a blog posting. it's a record of the ramblings on that go on in my head all of the time. except not quite as bad because i can think about more things that i can type. soo yeah. now it's just a bunch of words all smooshed (andy's word =)) together to form a somewhat long-winded rant about something or rather.
i dont' even know anymore (hahah dani ;))
so yeahh
i wish i could find a way
to say everything that i feel and everything that i want to say. for some reaosn, i find myself strugglnig to find a way to show people that i really care. eveyrone says to just be myself. yeah. i am myself. all of the time. but does anyone else get the feeling that it's just not enough? maybe i ought to do something special once in a while for some people....
ugh. i'm sick guys
my throat is like
icky
and my head
is terrible
and i've been sniffling all freaking day
and night
and all day yesterday too
and i think the debate killed my throat
ugh.
YUCK.
i hate being sick.