don't try to hide

seriously
don't try it
hiding from life
doesn't work
going on with life
and pretending that nothing has happened?
doesnt'w ork either
trust me on this one guys
i would know
and now
whenever i try telling people this
they don't get it
they just dont' get it
i gues all i can do
is let them learn for themselves
and make their own mistakes
beacuse sooner or later
they'lll find out
just how pointelss trying to hide from your problems is
moreover
avoiding those who are part of the problem
doen't work either
because you just piss those people off more
because theyr'e TRYING TO HELP
AND YOU"RE NOT LETTING THEM
THEY CARE
AND YO UJUST WON"T LET THEM THROUGH
you can't just
go and hang out with other people
because they're happier people
who...just dont' seem to care as much?
well i classify that as
going where the grass seems greener
do they even really care?
or do you hang outwith them because
they take your mind off the problem at hand?

well just for the record
the people whom you seem to be avoiding
REALLY DO CARE
and you just
won't
let
them
help
you
BECAUSE YOU THINK YO UCAN DO IT YOURSELF
and we've let you
for the past SIX MONTHS OR SO
and you've gotten how far?
not very.
not very far at all
and now it's just too late
because
it's simply way too late to reconcile
you seem to have gone too far
and left us way too far behind
alright you moved on
well
tried to move on
and keep what seems best for you
but
we have opinions too
and maybe because we care for you so much,
you ought to listen?
now yo useem to have moved on, but the problems' just following you around
soo..
you're just going to keep on keeping yourself busy with the new people
so yo ucan forget about the issue at hand
but what about us?
what
about
us?
maybe we're just not important enough anymore, hey?
oh well

jsut so you know,
things aren't as they seem to be
maybe
you're holding on to what seems to be the wrong thing?
maybe
you're not thinking carefully enough about what might end up happening to YOU
to YOUR mind, body, soul
you think you know what you want
yet
why is the answer so wrong?
it's like
saying you know the answer to 1+1
but then when yo usay it's 4
and you're SO SURE it's 4
it still seems wrong
yes?
of course it feels wrong
ebcause it's the WRONG ANSWER

so maybe you ought to rethink things
and remember
we're still here
we haven't gone anywhere
yo umay have been thikning that times have changed
and people move on over time
but the reality is
you've changed
you've drifted from us
we've tried to hold you back
but i guess it's time to let go
and let you fly on your own for now...

remember.
we love you always

hands up for justice

"there's a fine line between arrogance and assertiveness young lady.."
________________________________________________________________

"just slap her round the head one for her arrogance"
*laughter*
ms nicolle's astonished face
astonishment
because someone has the courage to stand up for themselves
against the teachers
because someone has the mindset to set the teachers into their own rightful places...

DISTINCTION, DIVERSITY, RESPECT
ok how many times have we all heard those three words?
MORE THAN ENOUGH
but that's besides the point
because right now
those three words actually MEAN something to me
more than the fact that they are the three core values of my school
emphasis on RESPECT

respect
is something that is not just received
you can't just expect people to respect you when you don't think they're worth the respect back
respect is something you need to earn
a good quality i see in people
is that they are able to earn people's respect
without forcing them into it, or without conning them into thinking that just becaus eyo uget paid more, you're better than them
because you're not
you're just NOT.

mr zivkovic (i think that's how to spell it)
he's paid to work at school
yes
he is, noone can deny that
it's his JOB
so he has to do it every single day
he has to wake up to a whole subschool of year 10s..
who are apparently the WORST subschool in the whole school
we're not guys
we are the BEST year 10s there have ever been
the worst subschool at the middle campus would have to be the year 9s (no offence) beacuse year 9 IS the bludge year
anyhow
he's also paid
to expect respect from everyone
he's paid to gain respect from ALL the teachers too, because he's the subschool HEAD
and all of the students
well
he's also expected to respect everyone else in return
oh wait
i said "expected to"
not everyone lives up to their expectations, do they?
least of all MR Z
seems to me that the only person he seems to respect is ms wilson
and i love her for that
she's a fav of mine
cause she LISTENS TO THE STUDENTS
you know what?
katrina said this herself
"who's the most important in the school? who are schools for? ooh no wait THAT"S RIGHT the KIDS! SCHOOLS ARE FOR THE KIDS"
well you know what?
WELCOME TO REALITY MR Z
because schools ARE about the kids' education are they not?
well why is it all based around the teachers having an easier time at their job?

so this is NOT to bag mr z
it's not some bitching session about him
oh no
this is a fight for justice
and a fight to be heard
well i gave it a shot today
TWO shots, actually
and you know what?
there's an award for end of year 10, as for end of year 12 at nmhs
it's some award for leadership and gaining the respect of the teachers
seems to me like i've lost what respect from the teachers that i've earnt over the past two years
you know why?
because they've finally come across someone who's willing to revolt
and fight for what they love and what they live for
seems to me like they've never been in this situation before
hence, they're STUCK
so all they can resort to
is taking away what that student actually LIVES for, and what they have worked HARD for

so here's the story
after school today katrina and i were to stay back to help with costumes for the musical
which we do every tuesday afternoon
after our last lesson (which was fashion and you ..home ec area) we went and packed up
so we could...well so we could work on the costumes
and as we were walking out of the subschool, as one of the last people to leave
we walked past the staff table
which is right by the subschool double doors
and sitting at the table are
Mr. Rowsell
Mr. Chiro
Mr. Pettinau (Mr. P)
Ms. Nicolle
and Mr. Z

so i stopped
oh at the time i was carrying my cube
because
well i just WAS
so i stopped to ask mr z about thursday's situation
for those of you who don't know

well in a nutshell
thursday is SRC elections/speeches and it's also a swimming carnival
and it's also the day that i was meant to give my ICARE friday speech for a fundraiser at school for my world's greatest shave thingo
and i told mr z that on monday
and he said that he would sort it ALL OUT by TUESDAY
know what?
it's tuesday today
and he did not do ANYTHING about it

so anyway
i went up to him and the first thing he says it "what do yo uwant"
in an "I"M BETTER THAN YOU" voice
and i said "you're incredibly rude today mr z"
and he said "deal with it"
and is aid "no. i shall not because this is just plain rude"
and mr chiro mockingly says "well, you definitely shall show respect"
bad move mr chiro
AND MR Z
anyway
i asked mr z
and he said
oh. about that...
and so he explains it to the teachers
and then mr rowsell saw my cube and said "could i mixit up for yo uto sovle"
and i'm like O_O wow there's a teacher...acting like most year 8s would if they saw me with a cube
so i consented
and he took it
then ms nicolle
that pretty, stylish woman
said "how about you just write something and pin it up on the board for eveyrone to read?"
and i said no right aw ay
beacuse to me
SRC is about being able to speak for yourself
because you'll be representing the entire STUDENT BODY
what's more
this year is PRESIDENT YEAR
and i'm not going to let soemoe out there
be the president
if they can't even speak in front of a crowd to represent themselves, let alone the ENTIRE student body
so i said no right away
and mr z said no too
i think that that is the only thing that w e actualy agreed on today
then mr rowsell asked me to cube for him to watch
so i did
and they weren't watching me at all
no, they were talking to me
and i don't think they understood JUST how important this is to me
it may not seem that great
oh you just go to meetings and shit
NO IT"S NOT JUST TAHT
it's about pride
it's about fighting for what's right
it's about HAVING A SAY IN LIFE
STNAD UP FOR YOURSELF
and i did just that
to everything he sa id
i stood up for mysefl
and it got to the point where
he said to me
"There's a fine line between arrogance and assertiveness, young lady"
and yo uknow what?
that's when katrina and i wa lked out
we just turned around
and stalked out of the subschool
OFF THE YEAR 10 SUBSCHOOL
away from them all
wihtout a backward glance

then we were walking towards the home ec building
katrina asserts about how she'd like to bash him up
thta's the thing, katrina gets angry too, but she never stands up to that person
she's too nice for that
whereas me?
lets' just say that if i dont' like someone
i let them know that
happened wi th mr jones
and ms angley
getting to the point where they just didnt' like me anymore...(well, ms angley deserved it...right? everyone who was in any of her music classes shall agree. ask anyone)

she stops to pee
and i'm waiting outside
all angsty
because i didn't get to say what i wanted to say
when katrina came out
i said to her
ok i'm going to go back and tell him everything i have to say
and she says
i'm coming with you
when we'd just gotten inside the double doors of the year 10 subschool she turned to me
and said
"you konw, i'm going to get a bad reputation for following you into these things"
well! let's just say my rep went bad the first time i stood up to mr z, yonks ago

so we wnet back
and mr z turns to me and says "i've got an idea. first thing tomorrow morning, the 4 of yo uwho are going to the swimming carnival are going to go to every single homegroup in year 10 and give them your speeches. happy?"
me: "8 homegroups. 8 times for every speech?"
he said: "that's the best we can do for now"
FINE THEN..will do just that
but then...
"what about my ICARE friday speech?"
z:"you'll probably not be able to do it then"
g:"but then that would be stupid beacuse then they woudnlt' know where their money is going"
z:"well, if yo uwant, i could just tell them for you? on your behalf?"
g:"yeah but then that wouldn't work as well, because i was planning to put THEm into a scenario where they'll get to KNOW what it's like to know somkeone living with cancer, and how much they ought to care and how generous they ought to be"
z:"well if yo uwrtie it all down and i coudl read it out for you?"
g:"but. no offence mr z but you woudln' tbe able to do it..as WELL as me"
ms nicolle's astonished face as she walks by
z:"excuse me young lady but i could do a damn better job than you could"
mr z looks over to the teachers for support. what do you know? HE GETS IT
g:"i didn't mean it that way. i just meant that yo uwouldn't be able to give the speech in the way that I would, in the MANNEr that i would. my speech is meant to make them FEEL what i have to say, rather than just SAYING it or just READING it out."
katrina behind me all the way says:
"yo uwoudln't be able to use the words that she would"
Mr Chiro in the background, jokingly, "You should just slap her around the head one for her arrogance"
teachers tittering with laughter
Mr. chiro. who i've always had trust in
turned against me
someone w ho i thought i was able to trust and able to talk to all the time
someone who can RELATE to me
clearly
i was wrong
clearly he has "higher paying" loyalties
than just a lowly student who talks a lot and talks very loudly and has an opinion
that did it
i don't even know what mr z said after that
all i heard was
"alright then we could do...."

i turned around and walked off
my hopes just crushed
my DREAMS of being such a big part of the school?
yeah kicked onto the ground
and stomped on
by who?
of ALL the people in the world
it was mr z
MR Z
shamed to have let him get to me so
but i just could NOT take it anymore
turned around
walked off, runing across the entire subschool
he tried to call me back
but i refused to let him talk me into anything
no way.
no way in the world.
not him.
so i screamed back
as best i could through my tears
"yo ucan do whatEVER you want. i dont care"

i am actually incredibly glad that the year 10 subschool has a second set of stairs
that we're not meant to use
im actually thankful for our school's great
random
"architecture"
ran down the year 9 stairs
cut through the courtyard towards the home ec building
on the way
i passed Ms Gallipo
nice woman
very nice woman
love her
best teacher i've had in a long time along with mr dayman and mr dama
my science of the mind teacher
my mostFAVOURITE subecjt
and i'm walking past her
with tears streaming down my face
barely able to breathe properly
and she asks me if everything was alright
i said i was fine
and kept on walking
letting nothing break my s tride
except
katrina
obviously she had come after me
and accompanied me to the home ec area
she told me that he'd come up with an idea
but i said to her
directly
"i don't care if he's come up with something GENIUS. doing things my way because he dones't deserve the respect that he expects to receive from everyone"

i agree with katrina
he is a prick
and i've tried working with him
everyone's SCARED OF HIM
WH YARE THEY SCARED OF HIM?
mr dama's like
shaking every time mr z comes near him
why mr dama?
stan dup for yourself
well now i have this story to tell
over and over again
to everyone
but you know what?
i'm not scared to tell them
that i cried
because of mr z
why?
beacuse i'm standing up for myself
i'm telling eveyrone
tomororw monring
while going around to all the homegroups
that it IS possible to stand up for yourself
and to NOT be a sheep
and follow everyone else
just because thye may seem frightening
shouldn't stop you from standing up for yourself
and that's why they shoudl vote for me
because
i can stand up for myself
im' strong
i can take on the world
and with the year 10s behind me?
well i can do anything if i believe
so
i'm ready to speak for the students
i'm ready to be their alliance to the teachers
that's my job
so bring it on.

vote#1 Gia-Yen Luong 10G1

hardcore WORK

well i just spent abuot 3 hours finishing my fashion & you assignment
it's SPASTIC
cause katrina and i both got a completely differnet marking scheme, and almost entirely different assignment sheet to the rest of the class
cause we're doing the IB
yeah
sooo yes i am proud of myself for spending so much time on HARDCORE WORK

oh another thing
i missed out on my lunch today
because i was with MEL
...*muttering*...beeeetch
because i have to play
a song
for
her to sing
and it's SO FRUSTRATING
cUASE SHE"S SOOOO O_O
....
yes
well let's leave it at that

apparently during lunch today
danielle was with hayden (BIG SURPRISE THERE....NOT)
and i was with MEL
so
all that was left of our usual group was
katrina, tessa, kelsey, matt and andy
cause weetyr was...somehwere O_O
and they apparently were talking about how incredibly quiet it was
without me there
and without danielle there to compete against me
LOL
yes apparently it was the...not nice quiet
rather than the NICE quiet...PEACEFUL situation
i guess they just need me there to s tir things up
and get ppl shouting
...
err get danielle and me into a screaming match..=D
because taht's what happens
ALL THE TIME
LOL
and eveyrone else just pays out each other
and laugh along
it's good fun
it really is

anyway
that's really all i have to say
EXCEPT
that matt and i have successfully...err ASKED (read "forced") andy and tessa to swim for us!
ON THRUSDAY!
YEAH MAN
LOL anyways
all for now

=D
keep on smiling

This is sooo me...

LOL!
i was reading one of my favourite books
again
and i came across this .... paragraph (?) that caught my eye
evidently it kinda didnt' catch my eye last time
or maybe it did, and i just didn't remember it like i've remembered this one?
maybe because this second time that i've read it, i've grown up, matured, so this means more to me?
ok who cares
WHO CARES
this is the awesome paragraph which is SOOO ME =D

"Sometimes I forget how small she is because she is so vocal. She's kind of like a dynamo who does one thousand things at once, successfully."
Saving Francesca by Melina Marchetta (pg. 8)

THAT IS SOOO MEE =D

so i copied it into my school diary
and it's there
every time i open my diary
HELLS YEAH

another thing:
I FLYED!
I FLEW
I FLOWNED!
I BUTTERFLYED!~
my..."swimming for NMHS career" dream has been fulfilled!
I"VE LEARNT HOW TO FLY
I CAN FLY NOOOWWWW
well, not too well
just that
i survived a 25m sprint
FLYING
so i guess i can do it well enough now
now...to work on it
so i can fly REALLY REALLY FAST!

me.
the flyer..
siiigh
basking in happiness

back on track..for now

well
the title says it all
i think i'm back on track...
for NOW
after abandoning all distractions and chaining myself to my desk for about two hours
i got quite a lot of homework done
but still in danger of falling behind
just that that danger is just not as prominent as before
i'm not THAT close to the edge anymore
slowly backing up

anyways
hmm yeah
hopefully i shall stay on track for a longer time
hopefully for ALWAYS
so
shall continue life
and like i've said
life goes on
so i really have no choice anyway

like thien said
go on with life
leave it ALL BEHIND =D

will do, mate
=)

someone please tell me

someone please tell me
what is wrong
ok WHY IS MY WRITING SLANTING?!
how annoying
anyhow
yes as you may have noticed, i dont' backspace very often
in fact, hardly at all

but this is besides thej point
so could someone plese tell me what is wrong with me
once i tell you the symptoms?
alright
here goes:

laziness
utter laziness
i never do anything useful anymore
i KNOW that i have lots of homework that needs to be done
and i know that i have twice as much as eveyrone else because i'm doing the IB and seeking IBO accreditation
but i just CNA"T do it O_O

fear
fear of IB
seriously
it's getting ot the point where i'm scared of the words "international baccalaurette" (i think that's how you spell it...)
i'm even scared of the LETTERS "IB"
because
BECAUSE all it means for me
is that i'm going to have to do twice as much work as eveyrone else
and i'm goign to be marked using a different marking scheme
one that is just so much HARDER
seriously
if i see one more rubric for the IBO i'm going to scream
out loud
in class
because i've seen SOO MANY
and they all say
IBO MARKING SCHEME FOR STUDENTS SEEKING IBO ACCREDITATION...
and they all mean the same thing
i'm being marked differently
from everyone else
i'm being watched more CLOSELY
it's quite a frightening thought

tiredness
tired all the time
ok i AM waking up at 6 am every second day to go to swimming trainigns
but why am i tired ALL the tiem?
to the point where i have headaches throughout the day
at school
and at home

hmm i think that's all my symptoms at the moment
but i hope that i'm still confident
and appear happy most of the time
to everyone around me
i'll get over it
don't worry =)
jsut a passing phase
it's already starting to go away
see? i'm going to stop this blog RIGHT now and go do HOMEWORK
HARDCORE HOMEWORK until bedtime
alright
determination is the key

let's see if i can follow through with that...

nostalgia

well
the title says it all
nostalgia
gee i hope i'm spelling it right..LOL
anyways
why am i writing this?
well technically i can't call it nostalgia because well, it wasn't really me
but
i can still say so because i was still overwhelmed by emotion, by wonder
and awe at how all of this came to be

i've come up with an idea for my PPS (Personal Project Studies...Personal Project)
i'm writing a...
hmm
a "family history"
but it's only on my parents
about how they came to be here in Adelaide, Australia
from Vietnam
it's going ot be called
"Journey to Freedom"
and i'm so exceited
because it's going to be AWESOME

so anyways
before, i was looking for pics to use for my PP
and wow
there are HEAPS and HEAPS AND HEAPS
and they're all so
wow
it's like
WHOA life was so hard back then
and
how did it get to be like this now?
there's so much that we, as this generation, simply can NOT undersnatd
there were photos
of TN over at some island, some refugee camp
and
wow
maaan they look just like us
US as TNTT ADELAIDE
except they were obviously more disadvantaged
but still
the idea was there
they had the same beliefs as us
the same hopes
the same dreams
of being in TN forever
of making it in life,
of changing the world, on a TN basis

and what do you know?
the only difference between us and them
is that they were refugees
and we're not
we're FREE
and they had to get SO far, go thorugh so much just to gain that ounce of freedom, freedom enough to start a TN wherever they went
so we viets, and TN-ians really ARE everywhere
taht's the spirit of TN come to life

another difference?
we didn't have to fight for our lives
jsut to get to TN
they did

wow and they appreciate TN so much more than us
WHY ARE WE TAKING IT FOR GRANTED?!
why are there some ppl in TN who just sit around and DO NOTHING
WHY ARE THERE PPL WHO GO TO TN AND STAND UP IN FRONT OF EVERYONE TO "len phan nganh" THAT THEY DON"T DESERVE?
why do they stand up there
knowing NOTHING
but they're going up to thieu
they're standing up there
in front of the WHOLE ENTIRE DOAN
and can't even line up
properly
they're up there
arms crossed
with a look of I"M TOO COOL TO BE IN TN
WELL UP URS
BECAUSE YOU BETTER APPRECIATE WHAT YO UHAVE
BECAUS EYO UDID NOT HAVE TO FIGHT FOR UR FREKAING LIFE JSUT TO BE HERE

umm
yes
=D
sorry
got a bit carried away
but that's the idea
and this has nothign to dow ith nostalgia LOL
but it's about
TN
and valuing it
shall continue some other time
dinner =D

Van

Van
going
gone
soon
dont
want
her
to
go...
='(

NO MORE YEN AND VAN VS. JULIAN
NO MORE OF THAT
it'll just be YEN VS. JULIAN now
no fun ='(

sad
for 5 years....

and so...

well
it's the 15th of Feb 09
like almost a whole year since i last posted a blog
no actually
only about 6 months
but THAT"S BESIDES THE POINT
so i'm writing this because Thien told me he reads them
and he pretty much asked for one T___T
so anyways
this has nothing to do with thien
i'm just writing it because i feel like it
and thien just motivated me to write it even more

SO
well a LOT has happened since my last post
then again, to be fair it HAS been quite a while
but anyways

so what's hapepned since then?
well a LOT
A LOT HAS HAPPENED SINCE THEN
well iwas going to make a list
i even did the layout for a properly grammatically correct list
but then changed my mind
i think it's more fun when i rave on and on about stuff
i think people like it better when i do that
less systematic
and someimtes it's qutie humourous to see me so confused.

at the last post, WYD had ended
everyone went back to their lives
EXCPET
everyone had changed
in their own way or another, eveyrone had changed
and for the better, of course
after WYD
and eveyrone ahd come back
it seemed really different
to me
it was like
the people who HADN"T gone to WYD with us (like TU) were just...not as INCLUDED in our groups anymore
sure i still love them as i always ahve
but they seemed to be missing out on somehting MAJOR
because, of cousre, WYD was a freaking major event
for a while after WYD it was like this:
ppl who HAD gone to WYD (me thien andrew tuyen thao etcetc) vs. ppl who HADN"T gone to WYD (tu...ngan...tu...tu LOL)
it wasn't excalty rivalry
it was just that they wcoudn't exactly laugh at the things we laughed at
bceause they simply had not been there

so anyway
as i was saying about people coming back home very changed
and very different
FOR THE BETTER

at WYD..eveyrone learnt at least ONE thing new
about themselves, about each other, about God, about our religion, about LIFE
eveyonre who went to WYD learnt at LEAST one valuable lesson about life itself
btw, if you went toW YD and youre reading this and you're thinking that you DIDN'T learn any life lessons, well think harder
cause i know for certain taht eveyrone did, i mean for ALL that we went through
walking, trains...DAMN THOSE TRAINS AND ALL THE PPL, rebelling against the other groups (GRIN THAT WAS AWEOSME), staying up late, talking, and of course going to all of the WYD events
we went through a LOT over those...10 odd days

so when everyone came back
they were full of this new knowledge about themselves
and about life
and about each other
i mean, we lived with each other for like 10 DAYS! (from the 12th on the bus until the 23rd)
ok, so it was 11 days T__T
anyways
( i actually thought it was 9 but then i asked thien and he wa slike...it's 11 and he asked if i'm alright..LOL clearly judging by my terrible typing i'm NOT)
so of course we'd learnt about each otehr
and eveyrone's terrible habits
and somehow we got a LOT closer
after living together
sleepig side by side at randwick
and
of cousre mucking around
we learnt TONS
about each other

hence, at WYD, and after WYD
many frienships were formed
but then, quite a few relationships were tested
LOTS of relationships were tested
not only boy/girl relationships
but also friendships
eveyonre was tired all of the time but still happy so yo ugot to see their true colours when thry'e not hyped up with cordial or something
so at WYD
like i said, LOTS AND LOTS of friendships were formed
i met people from ALL OVER THE WORLD
from poland from italy fellow aussies
and i also made friensd with ppl from our community
some people id din't even know existed until that awesome 11 dayas we had
but of course mostly i stuck around my fellow TN-ians

so like i was saying
WYD= friendships made , friensdhips broken, relatoinships fired up, then broken down
and the aftermath of WYD
was that everyone was realising that they had found this part of them that they hadn't known had existed
so everyone was finally being as much of themselves as they could
so
lots of relationships were seemingly broken up
as part of the aftermath of WYD
some couples say taht it was gongi to happen anway
maybe WYD was just the catalyst for it
because after WYD quite a few couples broke up
those couples who had been very close before and during WYD
and they broke
because
well i think it wa smostly because evyeorne was realising their true potential after all

ok now i'm just going around in cirels
but yo uget the idea
i guess that's my comment on the aftermath of WYD

quite a few comments asctually
but
that's pretyt much all i ahve to say

WYD was a lesson
about each other, about ourselves, about God, our religion and LIFE
WYD was a big window opening, clearing the fog about our own LIVES
about LIFE itslfe
after WYD everythign seemed a LOT clearer
more things made sense
all i can say now is that
i'm glad WYD happened here in Austrtalia
i'm glad i got to go
and i'm going to the rest ofthem for as long as i can

~Yen