release

well well. it's been a long time. like, 7 months.
and i'm not even sure why i'm writing this, even though i'd said (in my head) that i would have no need to write online anymore.
but hey, it's just one of those things, right?

why am i writing this now?

2 reasons i can think of right now. the first being that it's a thursday today and i'm home and noone else is online bceause they're all at school. the second being that i was looking at a few friends' blogs and decided that it would be a kind of...odd but interesting experience to read my own words after having been so far away from blogging for such a long time. and wow, it is so weird!

it is REALLY REALLY odd to be reading something, and while i'm thinking to myself "oh hey i remember writing that" and AT THE SAME TIME i'm thinking "what the hell was i ON about?!"

i guess sometimes we all need to that wake up call, that objective view of our lives. time to take a step back and take a look at ourselves and our lives and think "what needs to be changed?"

today i was told that i need to look in the mirror and look for what is wrong with me. then maybe i'd be able to fix the problem. and then be a better person overall!

but how am i supposed to see my own flaws? yeah, sure i know i have flaws. i can even list them for you:
- i speak too much
- i speak too loudly
- i love too many people and refuse to let go
- i worry too much
- i should really stop procrastinating
- i'm really mean when i want to be, and i shouldn't ever want to be mean
- i'm hypocritical at times, even though by admitting that i'm hypocritical, i'm not actually being hypocritical
- i'm too CRITICAL of things. i overthink them

sure, the list goes on and on and on. and yet, when i'm told to look in the mirror and find my flaws, how am i supposed to:
a) pinpoint all of them and
b) find which ones you're talking about?

if you don't tell me exactly what i'm doing wrong, or what's wrong with me, or what part of my personality you don't like, how am i supposed to fix it?


in any case, i'm sure i'll figure that one out for myself. but then i don't wan to overthink it because that'd be like looking for a flaw using a flaw. my goodness.


so what's been happening in the last 7 months or so?

lots has happened. i'm 16 now
i have my L's now

that's all that's significant, i suppose.

hmmm nothing more i really wanted to speak about.

and i failed in my quest to read harry potter in a week. will try that again sometime soon, maybe in the holidays when i'm not trying to a hundred things at once.

we'll see.

well, in any case, i think that's all i've got to say for now. maybe i'll think of something else to say later?

i'm not sure if i'll welcome this blogging back into my life very willingly. if i feel the urge to write again, i shall. but if not, then....

suffice it to say that i will be back, but i'm not sure how long it'll be before i write again.

take care and remember

super heroes only exist because of the people who believe in them

You know what sets me apart from the rest of them? I see more than just the face value